英語幽默的句子

1、有時候肥也是一種美，起碼我肥而不膩。

Sometimes fat is also a kind of beauty, at least I'm fat but not greasy.

2、成熟不是心變老，而是裝逼的次數越來越少。

Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the fewer and fewer times of pretending to force.

3、世界一直很殘忍，你不做戲子只能做玩偶。

The world has always been cruel. You can only be a doll if you don't play.

4、姐不是客服人員，你沒權要求姐答這答那。

I'm not a customer service person. You have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

5、我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是個妞。

I have the ability to be a girl, but I'm a girl.

6、那些邁不過去的坎兒，還不是因爲你腿短！

It's not because of your short legs that you can't walk past!

7、做一個吃貨無憂無慮，當一個癡貨無牽無掛。

To be a carefree eater, to be a fool.

8、友情就像花瓶一樣，被人一搗鼓就碎了。

Friendship is like a vase, which is broken as soon as it is pounded.

9、有的人，做面膜的時候，比真人好看多了。

Some people, when making facial mask, are much more beautiful than real people.

10、這天真的是太熱了，想找個人冷戰幾天。

It's too hot this day. I want to find someone to fight for a few days.

11、不要叫我宅女，請叫我居里夫人！

Don't call me housemaid, please call me Madame Curie!

12、老師，你給我多少分，我就祝你活到多少歲。

Teacher, I wish you as many years as you give me.

13、有些事情無須爭辯，表面服從，偷偷反抗。

Some things need not be argued, obeyed on the surface and resisted secretly.

14、你就是我心中的那首忐忑，總是讓我驚心動魄。

You are the song in my heart, always make me thrill.

15、我不喜歡你，像吃了花椒的鄰居，麻了隔壁。

I don't like you, like a neighbor who ate pepper, Ma next door.

16、暗戀是成功的啞劇，說出來就成了悲劇！

Secret love is a successful pantomime, which becomes a tragedy!

17、找男朋友的要求不高，跟女孩子講過話的不要。

It's not very demanding to find a boyfriend. Don't talk to a girl.

18、有時你想放棄老師，在此同時老師也想放棄你。

Sometimes you want to give up the teacher, at the same time the teacher wants to give up you.

19、自從用了黑人牙膏，牙齒白了，人黑了。

Since I used black toothpaste, my teeth have been white and my people have been black.

20、生活不只有眼前的苟且，還有數不清的作業。

Life is not just about living in front of you, there are countless homework.

21、夢想被狗吃了，然後過上了狗樣的生活。

The dream was eaten by the dog, and then led a dog like life.

22、車到山前必有路，有路我也剎不住。

There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain. I can't stop when there is a way.

23、自戀不是罪，迷戀哥的請後面排隊。

Narcissism is not a crime. Please line up behind if you are infatuated with brother.

24、知道你過的不好，我就安心了。

I'm relieved to know that you're not doing well.

25、你還真別瞧不起胖子，瘦下來迷死一片一片的。

You really don't look down on fat people. You're crazy when you're thin.

26、他人笑我穿得厚，我笑他人凍得透。

Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes. I laugh at others for freezing.

27、相愛沒有那麼容易，每個人都有自己的手機。

Love is not so easy, everyone has their own mobile phone.

28、說好一起到白頭，你卻偷偷焗了油！

It's said that when we get to the white head together, you secretly bake oil!

29、特別喜歡老師發飆，罵我們一節課，然後下課。

I especially like the teacher's rage, scolding us for a class, and then class.

30、這世上沒有過不去的坎，只有過不完的坎。

There is no barrier in the world that can't be crossed, only one that can't be crossed.

31、青春就是瘋狂的奔跑，然後華麗的跌倒。

Youth is crazy running, and then gorgeous fall.

32、我有一顆早起的心，可我的被窩不同意。

I have an early heart, but my bed does not agree.

33、做一隻可愛的小仙女，然後把全世界都變可愛。

Be a lovely fairy and make the whole world lovely.

34、裝什麼城裏人，現在地球都叫村。

The earth is now called a village.

35、全世界都在忙着談戀愛，只有我在忙着寫作業。

The whole world is busy with dating, only I am busy with my homework.

36、潑出去的水，老子連盆子都不要了。

I don't even want a basin of water.

37、不要對姐放電，你哥有來電顯示。

Don't discharge electricity to your sister. Your brother has a caller ID.

38、多希望接紅包的時候，打開裏面寫着再來一包。

I hope that when I receive the red packet, I will open it and write another packet.

39、認識你之後，一種智力上的優越感，油然而生。

After knowing you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

40、夢想還是要有的，不然哪天喝多了你跟人聊啥。

Dream still has to have, otherwise one day drink much what you chat with people.

41、我不整理房間，我是亂室佳人。

I don't clean my room. I'm a mess girl.

42、腦子瞎了的時候，有眼睛也沒用。

It's no use having eyes when you're blind.

43、一個女人的王子，也許是另一個女人的青蛙。

One woman's Prince, maybe another woman's frog.

44、很熱對嗎，到七夕就涼快了。

It's hot, isn't it? It's cool on the seventh Eve.

45、她們都很迷人，我不一樣，我磨人。

They are charming. I'm different. I grind people.

46、自拍這種東西：三分天註定，七分靠濾鏡。

Selfie this kind of thing: three days doomed, seven by the filter.

47、往後餘生，爆瘦是我，有錢也是我。

For the rest of my life, it will be me to be skinny and me to be rich.

48、想當年，姐最瘦的時候才六斤半！

In those days, I was only six and a half Jin when I was the thinnest!

49、想跟你在一起，把蠢傳給你。

Want to be with you, pass on the stupid to you.

50、把我想得太複雜，說明你也不簡單。

I think too complex, that you are not simple.

51、我賣的了夢，裝得了酷，我是超級無敵美少女。

I sold the dream, pretended to be cool, I am the super invincible beautiful girl.

52、你最大的問題不是對未來迷茫，而是無法起牀。

Your biggest problem is not to be confused about the future, but to be unable to get up.

53、不要當着我的面說別人壞話，不然我也想說。

Don't speak ill of others in front of me, or I'd like to.

54、別把我當成情敵，放心好啦，我看不上你對象。

Don't treat me as a rival. Don't worry. I can't see your target.

55、長這麼大，作業一直對我們不離不棄。

Long so big, homework has been on us.

56、頭這麼痛，肯定是有人在榨取我的智慧。

My head hurts so much. Someone must be squeezing my wisdom.

57、你說是天冷了，我說是心涼了。

You say it's cold, I say it's cold.

58、雖然我不能菩度衆生，但我可以禍害蒼生。

Although I can't Bodhisattva all living beings, but I can harm all living beings.

59、春困，夏倦，秋乏，冬眠，四季如夢。

Sleepy spring, tired summer, tired autumn, hibernation, four seasons like a dream.