搞笑英文說說心情短語
1、不要忽略媽，媽當年一朵花！
Don't ignore mom, mom was a flower!
2、課堂上的稀客，飯堂裏的常客。
The classroom well regulars in the cafeteria.
3、綁不住我的心就不好說我花心！
Can't hold my heart can't say I heart!
4、從天堂到地獄，哥只是路過人間。
From heaven to hell, I'm just passing by.
5、思想品德不及格，總比沒思想好。
Thought and moral is not passed, better than not good.
6、路見不平一聲吼，吼完一聲繼續走。
At the sight of injustice with a roar, roar end sound to go.
7、哥們最大的願望是：美女不穿衣裳！
Man's biggest wish is: beauty does not wear clothes!
8、我的精神分裂好了，我和我都很好。
My mind is split, and I'm fine with me.
9、我好像對紙過敏，每次做作業都難受。
I feel like I'm allergic to paper, and I feel bad every time I do my homework.
10、別撕開嘴的笑，在撕你都不會有酒窩。
Don't tear the mouth smile, you will not have dimples in the tear.
11、我不是骨頭，不能讓每條狗都追着跑。
I'm not a bone, I can't make every dog running after me.
12、喝加多寶不上火，看加多寶廣告上火！
Jiaduobao drink does not get angry, see jiaduobao lit advertising!
13、如果不能美得驚人，那就醜得勾魂吧。
If not beautiful, the ugly soul.
14、每個抖腿的人，心裏都有一臺縫紉機。
Each shaking legs, there is a sewing machine in the heart.
15、那人長得吧，怎麼說呢。像素比較低！
That person is long, how to say. Pixel is relatively low!
16、如果有錢也是一種錯，我情願一錯再錯。
If the money is a mistake, I would rather make mistake again.
17、大起大悲看清自己，大起大落看清朋友。
Great mercy to see yourself, see friends change radically.
18、鴨子本來不會飛，但是煮熟了就會飛了。
The duck would not fly, but it would fly.
19、誰若對我使用美人計，我就會將計就計。
If I use the badger who will, I will.
20、如果你忘了甦醒，那我寧願先閉上眼睛。
If you forget to wake up, then I would rather close my eyes.
21、時間終究要比愛強悍，忘記什麼都不難。
Time after all to be more powerful than love, forget what is not difficult.
22、按豬的審美觀，我基本算得上是個帥哥。
According to the pig's aesthetic view, I am basically a handsome guy.
23、美人對眼睛來說是天堂，對腰包來說是地獄！
Beauty is heaven to the eyes, it is hell for the purse!
24、下輩子我還找你，因爲除了我，你是最傻的。
Next life I also look for you, because in addition to me, you are the most stupid.
25、不要以爲頭上頂坨屎，自己就是金剛葫蘆娃。
Don't think head top shit, he is King Kong gourd.
26、上學最開心的一句話就是：今天班主任不在。
To go to school the most happy sentence is: today the teacher in charge is not in.
27、大叔，笑的時候記得捂嘴巴哦，小心您的假牙。
Uncle, laugh when I remember Wu mouth Oh, be careful of your teeth.
28、牛糞終歸是牛糞，上鍋蒸了也不會變成香餑餑。
It is cow dung, steam will not become xiangbobo.
29、同是自來水，但就是感覺廚房的比廁所的乾淨。
The same is running water, but it is the feeling of the kitchen than the toilet clean.
30、大街上那麼多人穿的那麼危險，卻長得那麼安全！
The streets so many people wear so dangerous, but so safe!
31、人生最幸福事，就是早上聽老婆說把你爪子拿開！
The happiest thing in life is to hear your wife in the morning and say, "take your paw."!
32、老天，你讓夏天和冬天同房了吧？生出這鬼天氣！
God, you let the summer and winter building? Give birth to this ghost weather!
33、愛情就像一部影片，影片結束時，所以人都會散去。
Love is like a movie. When it's over, people will go away.
34、成熟的最大好處是：以前得不到的，現在不想要了。
The greatest benefit is: the past can not get, now do not want to.
35、長成那樣，就不要撒嬌了吧，容易讓人起妊娠反應。
Grow like that, don't act like a spoiled child, easy to have the pregnancy reaction.
36、因爲喜歡你，藉着你的光，瞧見了從未預見的世界。
Because love you, by your light, see the world had not foreseen.
37、下雨天不是在想你，是在想剛洗的衣裳什麼時分幹。
Rainy days are not thinking about you, is to just wash clothes when dry.
38、不要說我胖，不然我會認爲你在嫉妒我比你吃得好。
Don't say I'm fat, or I'll think you're jealous I'm better than you.
39、成績，你就是個賤人，總挑撥我和爸媽之間的關係。
You are a success, Bitch, always provoke the relationship between me and my parents.
40、老天，你讓夏天和冬天同房了吧？生出這種鬼天氣！
God, you let the summer and winter building? Give birth to this kind of weather!
41、當別人開始說你是瘋子的時候，你離成功就不遠了。
When people start to say you are crazy, you are not far away from success.
42、記得小時候說得最多的一句話就是，我不跟你玩了。
Remember when I was a little more than a word, I do not play with you.
43、沒有一點點防備，也沒有一絲顧慮，國慶就這樣完了·
Not a little bit of preparedness, there is no trace of concern, the National Day is over.
44、小時候吃西瓜，就吃尖尖，吃到有籽的地方就不吃了。
When to eat watermelon, eat eat seeds sharp, where do not eat.
45、少女誠可貴，少婦價更高，若有富婆在，二者皆可拋。
The girl is precious, our price is higher, if there is rich in two can throw.
46、曾經希望把所有都留給你，何曾想卻把孤單留給了自己。
Wanted to leave all for you, I once thought but lonely for myself.
47、今天在街上看到一女的好美，走近一看，原來是面鏡子。
Today in the street to see a beautiful woman, a closer look, the original is a mirror.
48、有錢的人怕別人知道他有錢，沒錢的人怕別人知道他沒錢。
The rich are afraid of other people know that he has money, no money of people afraid of others know that he did not have money.
49、現在的我，你愛理不理。記住了。以後的我，你高攀不起。
Now I, you indifferent. Remember. After me, you can not afford.
50、別老看AV，你也不看看鍵盤上，字母A和V後面分別是什麼！
Don't look at the AV, you don't look at the keyboard, what are the letters A and V!
51、世界上最痛苦的事就是，從上課憋尿憋到下課老師還拖堂。
The most painful thing in the world is from class to class teacher Tuotang hold hold.
52、自從初一那次撿起掉在地下的筆後，數學我就再也沒聽懂過。
Since the first day that time to pick up the pen in the ground, mathematics, I have never understood.
53、男老闆總是希望身旁有個女祕書，有事祕書幹，沒事幹祕書。
Male boss always want to have a female secretary next to the side, something the Secretary to do, nothing to do secretary.
54、原以爲自己挺惡的，認識了他才知道比我還善的人幾乎不存在。
The thought that he was very evil, and know him better than I know that there is almost No.
55、我不喜歡只和一個女人上很多次牀，而是喜歡和很多女人只上一次牀。
I don't like a lot of times with a woman, but like a bed with a lot of women.
56、如果坦白是一種傷害，我選擇謊言。如果謊言也是傷害，我選擇沉默。
If the confession is a kind of injury, I choose to lie. If the lie is hurt, I choose to remain silent.
57、錢在我的手裏一無是處，就像垃圾，但我卻用它買到了最卑微的愛情。
Money is like garbage in my hand, Nothing is right., but I use it to buy the most humble love.
58、明明可以靠臉吃飯，而我卻要努力工作，這就是我和明明之間的差距。
Obviously can rely on the face to eat, and I have to work hard, this is the gap between me and obviously.
59、我想將對你的思念，寄予散落的星辰；但願星光照進你的窗前，伴你好眠。
I want to miss you, send the scattered stars; I hope the stars into your window, with your sleep.
60、感謝所有陪我走到現在的人，尤其感謝打算仍然硬着頭皮陪我走下去的人。
Thank you for all the people who came with me, especially for those who intend to stay with me.
61、學霸曬成績，女神曬自拍，土豪曬有錢，模特曬身材，老子放假回家曬太陽！
Curve Wrecker Sun Goddess of achievement, self drying, nouveau riche in the rich, the model in figure, Lao Tzu holiday home in the sun!
62、都說女孩子生氣時把她按住強吻就行了，可是，我爲什麼會被她男朋友打呢。
Said the girl angry when kissing her hold on the line, but, why would I be her boyfriend call.
63、我只要你陪着我只對我笑，我只要你吻我一個，只逗我一人，我就是不放棄。
I just want you to accompany me to smile, I want you to kiss me, just make me a person, I just don't give up.
64、路上撿到了一百塊錢，很開心的請室友吃了全家桶，最後發現錢是自己掉的。
On the way to pick up one hundred money, very happy to ask a roommate to eat the whole family, and finally found that the money is lost.
65、我這麼窮，爲什麼還會發胖呢，不知道這肉咋長的，這個問題困擾了我好多年。
I am so poor, why would I get fat, do not know how long this meat, this problem has troubled me for many years.
66、等你以後結婚了，結婚對象不是我，我就搬到你家隔壁住，做一個安靜的老王。
So after you get married, marriage is not me, I will move to your home next door, a quiet wang.
67、愚人節表白算什麼，清明節表白纔是王道，因爲，如果失敗了，你就說鬼附身了！
What kind of fool's Day confession, Tomb-sweeping Day confession is the kingly way, because if you fail, you say the ghost!
68、小姐命不苦，衣破不用補；光棍命好苦，衣破無人補；老公命更苦，衣破妻不補。
Miss life is not bitter, broken clothes do not make the good life; bachelor bitter, broken clothes no cover husband; life is more bitter, broken clothes do not make the wife.
69、有一次蹲在地上玩東西，我男神從後面拍了我一下，然後受到驚嚇放了個巨響的屁。
One time I was playing on the ground, and I took a shot from behind, and then I was scared to put a loud fart.
70、如果有一天，我無法繼續呼吸，那只是說明，我的世界缺少了空氣，或者，缺少了你。
If one day, I can not continue to breathe, it is just that my world is missing the air, or, the lack of you.
71、不管是在婚禮的喜帖上還是在葬禮的墓碑上，我希望我跟你的名字一輩子總能寫在一起。
Whether in the wedding invitations, or on the tombstone, I hope I tell you the name of a lifetime can always write together.
72、學霸曬成績，女神曬自拍，土豪曬有錢，模特曬身材，老子就想曬個太陽還尼瑪天天下雨。
PA drying results, the goddess of self drying, tyrant in the rich, the model in figure, Lao Tze to sun sun still NIMA it rained every day.
73、其實世界上最不忠心的就是錢，說好的一起出門，然後它就不跟我回來，枉我掏心掏肺對它！
In fact in the world the most faithful is money and agreed to go out together, then it will not come back with me, in vain I Taoxin Tao lung to it!
74、以前小學老師開課怕出冷場就對我們說：到時候我一提問你們全舉手會的舉右手不會舉左手…
Before the commencement of the elementary school teachers if silence is to us said: when the time comes I question your hands will raise right hand will not raise your left hand.
75、總是這麼沒出息，天天往你空間跑，然後還矯情的刪掉訪問記錄，我都想抽自己一大耳巴子。
Always so unpromising. Every day to your space to run, and then also hypocritical delete access to records, I want to pumping yourself Daerba sub.
76、別對我說天冷了，照顧好自己，穿多點衣服之類的話，要麼就照顧我，要麼就拿錢給我買衣服。
Don't to me said it was cold, and take good care of yourself, like wearing more clothes, or take care of me, or give me money to buy clothes.
77、希望睡前可以輕吻你，希望睡時可以抱着你，希望醒來可以看見你！一直都這樣希望，直到永遠。
Hope bedtime can kiss you, want to sleep can hold you, hope can see you wake up! Always hope, until forever.
78、一個和尚挑水喝，兩個和尚擡水喝，三個和尚沒水喝，四個和尚鬥地主，五個和尚可以去扮福娃了。
A monk fetching water and drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks landlords, the five monks can go to dress up as Fuwa.
79、合適的鞋，只有腳知道，合適的人，只有心知道，走千條路，只一條適合，遇萬般人，得一人足夠。
Appropriate shoes, only the feet know, right people, only the heart know that thousands of road, only a suitable, in case of all, and one person enough.
80、呀！我不小心把“我愛你”誤發給你了。如果你接受那就儲存起來，如果你不接受，就把這三個字返發給我。
Ah! I don't care to "I love you" mistakenly sent to you. If you accept it, save it. If you don't accept it, send it back to me. Three.
